


Strays

by Obsidian_phantom



Category: The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-09 15:44:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8897827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsidian_phantom/pseuds/Obsidian_phantom
Summary: the apocalypse is hard enough but imagine being on holiday at the time.Madeliene had the bad luck to go to comicon when the world went to shit. now three years later she has adapted pretty well to an american zombie apocalypse. all was going well but now she meets a gruff man with a barbed baseball bat. will she make it out alive and be saved by a biker angel or will she be dragged through hell by this demon.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I hope you enjoy the story. i'm going to try to update at least once a week and i have to mention that there will be mentions of mental disorders and mild body disfigurement issues being raised.

I walked to the edge of the woods, then I heard it. the furious words and shouts but what was more terrifying was the building crescendo in the background. The clawing and raspy intakes of useless air. The dead. I had seen them before I circled round through the thick woodland to enter this gated community. The dead, as they usually did, had followed the roads and the long stale sillage of humans who were most likely now stood in their ranks. However this had caused them to build up into a writhing mass behind the make shift barricade which stood feebly as a back drop to the dramatic scene before me. Crouched low behind a once beautifully manicured topiary; if you stared long enough you could discern the feint elephant structure which was being overgrown. But that life was not its destiny- no now it had been allowed the beautiful freedom to bloom… and further attack my sinuses with its pollen. Covering my mouth with the peppermint-ed rag I now used as relief I took a deep breath hoping that the fumes from the oil would calm the ache in my head and the runny nose. _I need an antihistamine- bad_. But as I was casually on my way to raid this richy rich- I can afford expendable medicine- community I come across this shit. Firstly I wouldn’t mind it but they are just taking – so – damn – long. But now they’ve ramped it up to a shouting match- seriously?

Honestly – why can’t people have these dramatic scenes with a subtle undertone of common sense. So now I wait for the two men to be finished and kill one another- hopefully. I leaned in to the cushiony if prong possessing shrub attempting to settle in and wait out the morosis going on behind me. As I peered through the foliage once more I can’t help but think it a damn shame that one of the men is more than likely to be the victim.

For purely superficial reasons. He was a lady-killer; no doubt.

Specifically because the lean muscular gentleman is the person who brought a bat to a gun fight. It’s a barbed bat of course- still… I couldn’t help but think that he wasn’t prepared for this turn of events. He was tall and rugged wearing a cocky and mischievous grin that said he didn’t feel this situation was serious. Yet as I sat bored I raised my hand to cover my view of half his face. First I only saw his devilish and almost care free grin. Then his eyes. Brown pits that whirled like an abyss twitching with worry and fury.  I bit my lip resisting the urge to get out my sketch book or Polaroid.

That would have been almost as idiotic as the douche gunman.

I resigned myself to simply remembering his lithe and sculpted form; clad in a leather jacket and jeans. Accented by a blood red scarf. Practical to hide blood stains. Mentally I applauded his whole ‘a god doesn’t bleed’ tactic. His face when taken in completely was almost soft despite the twisting features. He was a suave and charming character I had no doubt. Too bad really.

The man who had his gun drawn screaming about prey and shit – did he just mention animal farm?!- Anyway, now caught my attention and he seemed determined to put his point across. He was angry that the looker was in charge yaddah yaddah same old Machiavellian shit. As he grew more infuriated the entertaining fellow was busy twirling his bat in disregard only fanning the flame. He was cunning indeed. The seemingly lax attitude to the threats being thrown at him made the gunman nervous. He was getting paranoid. You could see it in his darting glances; stuttered breathes. He was obviously concerned that his opponent had something up his sleeve.

 In the background I could hear the steady increase of strays beat their maddening rhythm against the sheet metal. It was a poor construction and it was no wonder why this place was abandoned or consumed. If it all continued I was positive that the walls would tumble and the flood would sweep us all away.

With that comfort I sprang back onto the balls of my feet. I could feel the soft grass which absorbed my footsteps and said a silent thank you to Odin. And Morgan freeman. Cover all bases I do.

As I cautiously glimpsed around the greenery to assess a route that would allow me to sneak up on the dick with a gun first. The charming devil began to speak in a rumbling, deep and smoky voice that could easily say things to make your legs quake. With pleasure or fear I couldn’t tell you.

‘’Max… Max. What’s with all these dramatics?’’ he threw his arms out flamboyantly in emphasis.  ‘’I mean – come – ON! We go on a little shopping spree and suddenly you’re pissed about what, exactly?’’ his tone had changed from the light and carefree to a strained frenzied sound like a chained animal anticipating release. As he twirled his bat swiftly a few turns I leapt towards the cover of another plant assemblage. Quietly forward I rolled to a stop and shook off the chills that his predatory voice was sending up my spine. If I had balls I imagine they would have crawled back inside me. I strained, clamping my teeth to supress the tickle in my throat. I’d be damned to be found now.

 The gruff man continued his speech full of pomp. ‘’I’ve heard some rumours that you were stirring the pot but I put a little faith in you- in that you weren’t fucking STUPID enough to think that _you_ could actually take ME down. ME!’’ hoo hoo he was angry. I doubt he was used to such arrogant attempted coups.

The fury was emanating from him. And in reaction the other man lowered his gun just slightly. Enough that he had lost the kill shot. Good. He was getting careless. And in this world careless equals dead.

 From its holstered I withdrew my double edged butterfly knife- or my acrobatic dagger friend. I called her River. On account of how she can somersault and kill in the same heartbeat. of course she was a little on the funky side with her bright blue hilt.

I eyed the obviously weaker man and knew exactly where I was going to strike from and hit. Behind him was a truck all I had to do was roll underneath into a crouch and spring forward to plunge my dagger in his medulla oblongata. Instant kill. Yeah… Sherlock Holmes shit.

‘’you obviously forgot that the ship goes down without me skippy. Why don’t you just put that gun down and _maybe_ you’ll just face the iron.’’ The man who had greasy mouse blonde hair jolted at the word ‘iron’. It made me curious as to what they were referring. But I instead took note of which hand he was using to hold his gun. Left. Great. That meant I could easily lunge to grab it before Mr smooth. The captain as he wanted to be seen, evidently, combed his salt and pepper hair returning to his original smiley face. But I could feel that the animal was almost hear. He tightened his grip on the barbed bat and choked the handle. As soon as the suddenly quiet Max was unarmed he’d be getting a smack to the face. The greasy man shook as he stared at how the seething gentleman petted his beard. He seemed to realise that this wasn’t going to go his way unless he grew some balls. And that was his last mistake.

He gripped the gun tighter refocusing. Shit. He was ready to fire. ‘’ D'you know what, Negan? I’d rather drown with the bilge rats than have you at the helm.’’ Applause for keeping with the ship theme. He squared himself and was clearly ignorant as I pushed myself the last 8 feet to the shelter of the lorry. Unfortunately as I had my last glimpse of the Mexican standoff I saw ‘Negan’s’ eyes flicker from max to me.

Fuck. Fuck. Shit.


	2. a conscience?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just more set up as our heroine is getting further down the rabbit hole.-oh Negan!

~*~

~*~

I tensed awaiting the attack from the two as they banded together against me.

 However, I was relieved and a little unsettled to find that ’max’ was left unaware as I slowly positioned myself under the lorry. Was batman so arrogant that he thought I was no threat to him?

Max was probably only 30 or so, still young really, but I couldn’t let myself go there. They weren’t just people in this world anymore. They were here the same way I was- standing on a pile of bodies. Strays and Norms. It just so happened that this Norm was one who would get me killed trying to fulfil a vendetta. He had put himself in my cross hairs. That was how I saw it- needed to…

The sound of the horde had grown immensely. I felt my lip curl as I thought of those rotting bodies clawing to get at me.

Quick. I had to be quick.

Before I bottled it.

I propelled myself to the other side of the lorry’s container to come up in a crouch. It must have been only a beat of my heart before I lunged upward. But in that instant, as my legs pushed me up with all their strength two things happened and the shit flew at the fan with gusto.

The rusty supports for the shabby gate crumbled under the pressure of all those strays who had heard the dinner bell. And as the metal thundered to the concrete under the dead weight the fucker formerly known as Max started letting his finger slip on the trigger. He wasn’t aiming but he still managed to put a hole in ‘Negan’. ‘Negan’ went down like a sack of bricks and before any enjoyment of that fact could register for the poor fucker my hand clapped on his forehead pulling backwards as the dagger was driven into the base of his skull.

In that instant he was dead.

Dead dead.

But I was still alive. I watched with a tremor of fear as the horde began to rise from their inelegant entrance. This _was_ a pickle. They couldn’t run but they always managed to fucking _run_ _you down_. Bastards. They clumsily began to shamble over the crippled amongst them and set their sights on the fresh corpse. Or corpses if I wasn’t careful. With that cheery image in my head as I faced the onslaught heading my way, a fire was lit under my arse. I scrambled to collect the gun in the _stupid fucker’s_ – _I won’t forgive you for making me kill you, you stupid mother fucking normy uh_!-hand moving to aim with intent at the body of Negan.

A bullet to the head and it would be over for him. A little kindness in the end.

He groaned as he clutched at his side. His eyes clenched and his jaw set with the pain that streaked his face. I felt safe enough to kick his body so that he rolled on his back. The stifled moan he let out reassured me that even in this state he was thinking.

Could I let this man become a mindless bag of rancid flesh?

That annoyingly familiar tug of guilt at such strange moments came poignantly to my chest and I knew what I was about to do was possibly more idiotic than these two dicks.

Quickly I tucked the gun in the back of my pants. He didn’t need me to actually _offer_ up a weapon for him. I shoved my arms callously under his armpits so that they hooked in the crook of my elbows. He let out another weak gasping grunt. I was glad for his low volume and so tried to lift him as much as I could.

The strays were getting closer.

With extreme effort, I let out small grunts as I pulled his body along the road. Running backwards I did my best to keep his arse off the ground whilst searching for someplace to hunker down.

There it was. A pharmacy four doors away. Its shutters were mostly down but the shattered glass in its shadow said that it had long been broken into. Upon reaching the place I unceremoniously dumped Negan’s bleeding body and ducked my head to peer inside but the light was poor and there were too many shelves that the bastards could hide behind. A quick look at the advancing monsters and I knew it was here or I was going to have to run. Without my new friend…

I took the chance and took River out. I crawled under the steel barricades before springing to my feet. My heart raced and choked me. The cool sweat dribbled down my cheek. It was dim inside but luckily the lowering sun of winter was drizzling into the bullet holes scattered through the metal. It was enough to let me see that no stray that had legs was roaming around. As I moved in I tried to focus my hearing to this pharmacy and cancel out the groaning man and snarling corpses. I heard nothing that could indicate any strays had been trapped inside.

The sudden gurgling growl from outside made me aware of how close the shits had gotten. The gap under the shutters showed the shuffling feet of an old man appear at the store's periphery. I shot over and hooked onto the captain’s shoulders again letting river drop to my side.

His protests were of little consequence.  As his feet finally slipped under the barrier I dropped to my knees to try and yank it shut. Only to be greeted by the old man’s decomposing face as he desperately scrabbled to reach for me. I clenched my right hand the leather of my bike gloves straining against the sewn in steel spike knuckles. With as much power as I could muster, I gave him a left jab to the socket as I simultaneously reached for River. Swiftly her blade slipped into scramble his brains before being tugged out. A quick breath as I shoved his body out of the way and began to furiously rattle the shutter.

It wouldn’t close.

More were coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh shit! why is it when Jeffre- I mean Negan walks into your life shit gets complicated '~'


	3. A stitch in time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> time to get your hands dirty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! thanks so much for reading. this is just a quick first draft because of the great response. i love this sight so much!

I flung myself backwards as more strays were walking toward me. With all my strength I kicked the old man’s body out and pounded a steel toed combat boot against the metal. Shit. Shit. SHIT!

Suddenly a thick pipe fell to the side of the doorway. _Bastard_! -The barrier now rolled the rest of the way to the floor, connecting with a looped lock. I threw myself at it jamming the pipe into the hole as a makeshift bolt. Then like the slow patter of a rain storm, the strays began to hit the metal where they had once seen me. More and more came to throw their weight in. A part of me felt the bile begin to rise in my throat in reaction to the repugnant smell. The rest of me had gone numb. Because of fear. The unstoppable fear that they could get in. That they could and would tear me apart; a slow and agonising death.

The gun pressed into my back and I prayed with sincerity to anything that might listen that it still had bullets. That the fucker outside had not just wasted the last to give a minor injury. _I_ needed them. Not for the corpses but for myself. Even for the _Captain_ -should I have enough. I wouldn’t go through that. Not at the end. I may be a nasty bitch sometimes but no one–well very few- deserved to go out like that.

The roar of an engine called out from nearby.

Then another.

They beeped their horns and the rattle of machine guns exploded in the air.

I was utterly dumbstruck. This just didn’t happen. You don’t have the wolves at the door only for there to be a saving grace.

But it was happening.

The loud sounds continued and the scraping of dead limbs over concrete moved away until gradually they both became distant. Moving away from us. I could still hear the shuffling of the strays as they went with the heard but at least they took no interest in this place. The only problem now seemed to be keeping it that way and making sure the captain didn’t turn round and bite my throat. Another hot pickle. I fucking HATE hot pickles…

Happy that the shutter was secured I moved to check on ‘Negan’. He was panting as his focus came in and out. He was even more handsome up close. Damn. Without touching him I looked over the wound. It seemed to be in a place where it probably missed everything. It was just going to hurt like a bitch and he was bleeding like one too. _I could wait till more of the herd moves on but… he’d probably die by then. Fuuuck._ I resigned myself to getting acquainted with this man.

The shock had kept him quiet for now and I hoped it would last a little longer. Trusting this I made moves to search the pharmacy for anything to help his wound. As I moved through the shelves I found some old dressings and tape. I went behind the counter only to find a locked metal cabinet. It had dents in the front from where some desperate soul had tried unsuccessfully to bash it in. lucky for me. Also luckily for me, I had a secret weapon for such an occasion. I moved aside the green satchel which hung across my chest on my left to delve into the thigh holster that I had picked up a few months back.

In here I had a few essentials; just enough so that it wasn’t cumbersome. One of which were the lock picks I bought from the big apple comic con. You never think that a four-month night course for lock picking will get you anywhere but prison. Until the zombie apocalypse of course. I got to work on the round steel padlock. It was scuffed and gouged where people had tried to pry it off or pick it and I cursed silently _those bastards better not have messed up the alignment._ But with everything going my way _yet again_ the tumblers clicked and the lock popped open to hang on the handle. What lay inside was a freaking goldmine.

Prescription painkillers. Pure ethanol. Sutures. Hell, it even had a stock of epinephrine pens. I calmed my rapture over this winning streak that I was suddenly on and took another long drag on the peppermint oiled rag. That helped me to focus. I could get what I wanted later; first the captain. I did slip a few loose pill sleeves into the essentials holster. Just in case.

A heavy anxiety had settled on my shoulders. Something was bound to go wrong- it always did…

Back with Negan I saw that my somewhat _rough_ transport had taken its toll; he had lost blood and it was pretty clear he would continue to do so. I was tempted to say fuck it and clear out but my conscience won over my fear; I chewed my lip in contempt for its constant interference. He was in pain but he gritted his teeth to stop from moaning. _Still a team player apparently_. I went to the till quickly hoping that the American cliché would be true here. And bingo bango there it was - a bottle of clear liquid in a non-descript plastic bottle. I took a whiff. I was sickened by its powerful odour and delighted that it was exactly what I needed. Before running back to my patient I picked up a dog chew rope from the counter.

Kneeling beside the fading man I knew it was now or never. _It’s ok. You can do this. Dogs- humans it’s all the same. It won’t happen again._

I set to it by first folding back his leather and splitting his shirt with my knife. The wound was positioned high on his waist- his left side- if it had moved 3 inches either way it could have missed or killed him. It was a clean cut circular puncture which meant the bullet went in whole. If it had stayed that way was a different kettle of fish. I pushed my hand under the captain’s back to levy him up. His eyes flew open and he took a sharp intake of air before he opened his mouth to yell in pain. I silenced him quickly with the rope toy. He bit into it immediately, almost taking the end of my finger with it.

The exit wound was also a single circle. Threw and threw. No shrapnel. I could have cried with relief that I would only have to stitch him and not go digging. He groaned again and I knew I needed to speed up. The blood was dark and seeping out slowly which again was a good sign that nothing vital had been hit. _Fuck! I should play the lottery or something. Wait… oh yeah its Sunday, damn._

With that, it was time to get to it. A swift slap to the handsome captain’s face brought his focus to me. His deep caramel eyes locked with mine as a feral fury built up behind them. But fuck it this had to happen. I cleared my throat and croaked out as few words as possible to get to the point. ‘’ listen I need you awake to do this. I’m gonna take out that rope and give you something. Drink it.’’ I put the rim of the plastic bottle to his lips and after a brief scrutinising glare he complied taking a long chug. He followed it with a stifled splutter.

His voice came wary and gruff. ‘’the fuck was that?’’

‘’vodka’’ I answered with a little smile.

It vanished as I looked back to his wound. Now was a time for concentration.

He groaned and a bulge of red liquid rose from his bullet hole before it ran sluggishly down his side. I turned away to start threading a needle with the suture thread I had found in the cabinet. When I turned back Negan’s face became blanched.

He spat out the rope ‘’what d’you think your doing with that fucker?’’ he growled. It was clear that he did not want what I was about to do but fuck it I already went through the trouble of threading my leather needle.

‘’I plan to stitch you with this fucker.’’ I dead panned. There was no point dancing around the subject with this guy. He looked like he didn’t like being lied too. ‘’you're bleeding but it ain’t too bad right now. _However_ , that doesn’t mean that it will stay that way.’’ He glowered at me remaining silent. Goody. ‘’now I can either let you bleed out on your way to where ever or I can fix you up. I chose the latter- you may not.’’ I looked at him waiting for his answer.

He remained silent. ‘’just get it over with.’’ _Gratitude in the apocalypse is hard to come by apparently._

‘’ I can give you morphine for the pain if you like. You’ll be slow though if the strays get in.’’ I poured a little vodka on his wound- ‘’that’ll hurt’’ – He gave a sharp grunt at the sting; his eyes squeezing shut before bulging at me saying that he was resisting the urge to slap me.

He jutted out his far hand for the vodka. ‘’best give me that then.’’ I handed the bottle over and he took a long swig before sounding an exaggerated sigh. ‘’you carry some good vodka at least.’’

I didn’t tell him it was probably three-year-old backwash. Let him have the comfort before I started sticking him with my trusty needle. I took a calming breath bringing the needles point to his skin. My hand trembled slightly. More because of who I was stitching rather than the actual act.

‘’try not to leave a scar’’ he whispered into the bottle before he set it down and braced himself.

_Will do pretty boy._ ‘’put that rope back in your mouth and try not to move’’ the needle was forced into his skin.


	4. Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well,what has Negan got cooking? who is our little heroine? and how do you act after you've just stuck someone with a needle repeatedly? here's a hint to those answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is a long one and there may be a few mistakes which I don't mind being brought up on. also, thank you for reading!

Hours had passed. Negan had almost polished off the vodka mostly in silence. Now and then he broke the stale atmosphere with a groan or moaning, to himself really, about ‘the fucking mess Max had put him in’. We must have been in predawn because I began to hear the faint tweets of the dawn chorus sharp and seemingly erratic in the distance.

The word ‘uhtceare’ entered my mind and it brought a breath of fresh air to my overworked brain. ‘to worry before dawn’ it was a little piece that connected my old life to the new. Being familiar with waking before the rest of the world  The rapacity, a need to put a word to everything and being in awe when it couldn’t be found because it was ineffable.

Uhtceare was heavy in my mind as I began to think on what was going to happen now. Where would I go and how quickly could I get away from the ungrateful bastard that I was sat with.  

It had taken 20 minutes to do both sides which is pretty fucking good especially in these circumstances.

But still Negan sat with his legs in front of him whilst leaning back against a shelf of nappies grumbling over his new feature. I did a nice mattress stitch for speeds sake. It was neat and after a second splash of vodka there was no blood coming from it.

‘’fuck sake… this best not leave me a Frankenstein’’ he chuckled at his poor joke. He was half a bottle down so of course a mouse fart would have been funny to him. _Frankenstien’s monster_ I mentally corrected him. I sat 4 foot away with some alcohol wipes to clean the blood from my hands. I didn’t laugh. I could only think that had we been in a real hospital the wound would have just needed cleaning, dressing and rest. I rubbed my face. I was tired from thinking and the adrenaline high that I had been riding was beginning to crash bringing on a fucking mother of a head ache.

‘’lighten up girl.’’ He drawled slightly. ‘’ you did good, kid’’ He gave me a charming toothy grin that would probably have made me swoon in the movies but in reality I wasn’t in the mood to play naughty nurse and pervy patient. A thwack to the metal shutters made me once again remember why I had to stay in this place. The strays had thinned out last time I peeked through a bullet hole in the corrugated metal but still… too many for me to get away from. Especially since the happy psycho was now drunk or on his way. Negan took another sip. ‘’so… since we have time to kill…or not’’ he smiled and threw his hands up slightly chuckling again at his own joke. I stared straight ahead. There was no reason to play his games. ‘’well, I know you don’t say much unless you’re hurting me BUT shall we at least get the introductions out of the way’’ he gave me a playful smirk.

I stood from where I sat bored of the drunken over familiarity he was using. Picking up my canvas bag I moved to the pharmacy counter to sort through it. I dumped everything out and began putting it back in whilst making a mental note of my supplies. I needed more food. Some water. Important shit. What I had of that was dwindling. The other stuff was more for sanities sake. A copy of wuthering heights from my last supply stop. Embroidery material and scraps of leather. I never got to do any but having it in there gave me hope.  I also had my actual weapon. My kukri knife.

She had a name too: Su.

I found her when I was trapped in army supply store- yes I was stupid- and she was the first knife I grabbed. I swung her and sent a fucking head flying. I vomited afterwards but still a win. If river was my dancing butterfly knife then Sue was my like finding the ocean and using it as a weapon: a Tsunami- Su.

Anyway, I had kept Su hidden but I felt a little safer knowing she was next to me. I hopped over the counter to begin filling my bag with as many supplies as I could. If I was as lucky out there as I had been in here then I could trade it for food and water. It was while my back was turned that a sudden slam on the counter made me shit myself. I slapped a hand over my mouth to stop a scream from escaping as the other raised to make use of my brass knuckle gloves.

Before I threw the punch I recognised that the mother fucking captain jackass was stood on the other side of the counter grinning like a Cheshire cat. My brows lowered into a scowl. A stray knocked against the metal barrier. He was most definitely being a jackass and jackasses tend to get you killed.

Negan let out a joyous laugh before smothering it with his hand, the other wrapped around his stomach as he bent over; trying to stop his sides from splitting. ‘’I’m so- I’m sorry.’’ He stuttered through his hand. ‘’but your face-‘’ he stopped laughing abruptly as he straightened with a dangerous smile and gleeful look in his brown eyes. ‘’it was fucking priceless. Worth the fuckin pain.’’ He pulled up his clothes to inspect his stitches. They had held fine. ‘’you really did do a good job on these- didn’t even feel them when I moved.’’ He tapped it which caused him to wince in pain. ‘’still fucking hurts though’’

I had lowered my hands and eyed him cautiously. _Just what does this crazy bastard want?_

He looked back to me his expression changing to a charming and predatory look. A chill ran up my spine. I didn’t like being under that gaze. ‘’so. As I was saying -‘’ he jabbed a thumb into his chest.’’- you are?’’ he prompted.

I swallowed hard trying to moisten my sore larynx, keenly aware of the snot that was under my nose. I decided to be civil- at least until I could run away. Taking out my familiar rag I inhaled whilst subtly wiping my nose. ‘I’m-‘’ it came out croaked and burned my larynx. I cleared my throat or at least tried to as quietly as possible. I spoke again and my voice came gravelled and slightly husky. ‘’I’m Mad-‘’ a sudden irritation cut me off and I gave in to a sputtering cough. My eyes went wide and I smothered my mouth under the rag. It stopped and we both grimly looked to the barricade listening intently. The shuffling was faint now. Not many strays walking around.

I grabbed a few pseudoephedrine and tossed them back swallowing hard to force them down.

With this new liberty Negan allowed himself a hearty chuckle as he turned back to lean casually against the counter. His voice was light with amusement. ‘’so your mad, eh? Guess that makes sense who else would go all ninja to save me from that motherfucker Max.’’

‘’must be…’’ I grumbled. I wasn’t a fan of teasing in any case. I could tell that this man enjoyed teasing- be it for malice or charm.

He just leant there watching me after that. A few minutes must have passed as his eyes ran over me, his mouth twitched and the drunken haze cleared from his eyes. They were back to their predatory intensity.  And it was getting weird.

It wasn’t odd for me to become uncomfortable under scrutiny. And this was beyond my meagre level of comfort. With a warm croak still in my voice I decided to break the dangerous atmosphere. ‘’I’m Madeleine but call me Maddy.’’ I stuck my hand out to Negan with false bravado to stop him from looking through me.

In response his lips curled into a crooked and admittedly devastating smile. He really did have the whole ‘chic savage’ quality going on. ‘’well darling that is one fine name.’’ he stood up right to perform an exaggerated bow flourished with a twirled wrist. ‘’Madame- I am Negan’’ he looked up with a playful grin on his bearded face.

A bubbling giggle erupted from my lips. It was clear and fruity- close to my actual voice. I clapped my hands over my mouth again for fear of getting the dead’s attention. Maybe also so that Negan didn’t get to know anymore of me than he had to. For either reason I made a mental to check for fucking bruises later. This apocalypse was killing my looks.

Only the hollow tweets of nearing birds were carried into our little haven.

Negan rose normally to stand at ease which made me feel a little better in his company. From his actions so far it seemed that he was sizing me up- making sure I didn’t stick him like I did his traitor friend. He began perusing the shelves next to him knocking off that which he wasn’t interested in.

 ‘You know that’s the first fucking smile you’ve cracked since we’ve been in this cage’ he spoke nonchalantly as he continued to knock things from the dusty shelves whistling a little tune to display his ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude, I suspected. I kept loading up on pills as he worked his way through the aisle.

‘’Didn’t know you were such a gift, did I?’’ I quirked an eyebrow to gauge his reaction.

He paused for a moment smiling to himself before flicking some nail varnishes to the messy floor and continued his looped whistled tune.

As a way to unwind and keep myself from bolting through those metal shutters I loosened the shoelace that was securing my hair. The red curls fell about my head, brushing over my shoulders, with a feeling of relief as it lessened the pain in my head. I used my hands to comb through and massage my tender scalp. It was times like this I could relish the small bites of peace that had come into the world and digest what was going on.

This wasn’t really what I expected. He was charming and handsome – and he _definitely_ knew it- so why was someone trying to kill him? Why would they rather die than be led by him? And what the fuck were they ‘shopping’ for?

Was it nearly Christmas? … No that was in a month.

Well whatever the reason it wouldn’t really make much difference to me. Just something to ponder in the lonely nights. Not in that way!

‘’hey so… what you gonna do now?’’ I asked after a few minutes of watching his erratic selection process. He had gone through two aisles and left a trail of destruction, leaving odd things like diapers, Calpol, even sanitry towels on the shelves. So when I spoke up he was almost done with the store. I on the other hand had tried to subtly take antibiotics and other medications, stuffing my satchel and pulling Su into an accessible position.

He jutted out his bottom lip in thought before deciding to walk back towards my pharmacy counter. He turned on his heel to lean his elbows against its top. I inched away from him. The proximity to such raw power was unnerving. If he noticed he didn’t let on or at least he wasn’t angry.

‘’ahh kiddo’’ – _i’m 26; not old but ‘kiddo’?-_ ‘’first I’m gonna go get my girl then… well fuck if I know but I got a fucking good idea.’’ He quirked his eyebrows up and down as a manic look came across his face. It was the kind of look I imagined you would see on the face of the person whose death ray was about to bloom or some shit.

‘’so I have to ask- who’s ‘your girl’?’’

‘ _’you_ could be.’’ He teased and I simply grunted in response. He continued un-phased ‘’Well Madame, you see it seems that we callously left my number one lady outside when I was shot.’’ When it remained obvious that I still had no idea what he was referring to he decided to shine a light. ‘’my Lucille- she’s this sharp little number with a penchant for caving heads in.’’ he spoke proudly and it dawned that this ‘number one lady’ was his fucking bat!

I couldn’t really talk as I felt River press into my waist.

I could practically feel myself being dragged to wonderland and on some suicide mission with the Mad Hatter. Before that could happen I needed to make an exit from the scenario. ‘’Yes. Well, good luck with that.’’ I stretched and pushed myself off of the counter top. ‘’ I think Im gonna keep heading south-east. See if I can escape this winter.’’ With that I felt the bite of the night air cut into my exposed chest. I buttoned up the rest of my sheep skin cardigan and drew the zipper of my leather bomber jacket.

‘’hahaha…’’ Negan let out an orotund laugh.

He had begun walking over to the barricade where he now leaned his laugh growing in volume; a hint of that dangerous mania could be found in it.

My heart began to pound. Was he going crazy? Was I about to find out why max couldn’t stand it anymore. Fuck- That was the word that wouldn’t stop sounding like a shitting siren in my head. He was laughing so loud now and suddenly my brain remembered to listen for that shuffling against the tarmac.

I couldn’t hear it- at first. Then slowly it approached. But there was only one. My brain stalled. There was no way that they had all left by now.

Negan twirled in front of the barricade before facing me. His foot swiped along the floor knocking the bar from its bolted position. As it rolled to the side my eyes followed it along its path. In shock mostly. What the fuck was going on?

Then I heard it.

It may as well have been a crack of thunder.

The schwing of metal slicing through decaying tissue cut into my mind as I realised that the faint whooshing and rattles that I heard were familiar. Blades lopping off heads. There were people outside clearing the dead.

And then that familiar tweet of birds. Which I now realised was a distorted echo of Negan’s cheerful whistle. Fuck.

I looked back to Negan, who was relaxed as ever, a smile carved deep lines into his face as he was overjoyed by what was happening. Like a roll of thunder he clenched his fist and smashed it into the barricade. The last snarls were silenced and engines reverberated outside.

Cold false light flooded into the shop. Negan disappeared; a blurred silhouette against the blinding intrusion of light.

A whistle burst from his lips.

Well shit the shitting shititty fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and shititty shit to you too Madame. and here is what the lady has been wearing - http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=213920569


	5. A maniac might be the best option...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maddy is confronted with Negan's other self.

It was a beautiful dawn. That’s all I could let myself hold on to as we drove. My hands were tied but Negan had insisted they leave them in front of me. So now they rested almost comfortably on my lap. Slight rope burns from where the man had started to tie them a little too rough but a low growl from Negan in our direction and it seemed a little patronising how loose they were. Of course, I probably didn’t make a tough – don’t fuck with me- first impression. But hey, 20 armed men facing you will do that.

After Negan had blown his little diddy which was soon picked up by those outside the shutters were abruptly forced up to reveal twenty some men armed to the teeth with machetes and guns of all shapes and sizes. At their head was a greasy and lanky man with ginger hair. It was he who first entered the shop, a smirk plastered on his face, eyeing me with amusement. I wanted to stick river in those eyes.

He walked to Negan’s side, handing him the barbed wire bat which I had neglected when first scooping the bastard up. Negan kept his eyes on me, a crooked and easy grin on his face, reaching back he firmly took hold of his ‘ _Lucille’_. As soon as it was in his hands his demeanour changed. If I had described the person I stitched up and spent the night it would come down to one word ‘ Dick’ he was a dick plain and simple maybe I would go as far to say he was a dystopian dick but still a dick as harmless, or harmful, as your usual dick.

But now that easy playful grin was twisted and a miasma of danger creeping into in the air. Now he was clearly a leader. And I wasn’t going to show him up in front of his men. That was why I stood with my hands clenched at my sides fighting every instinct I had to run or at least try and fight my way out.

No. I. would. stay. Still.

Negan laughed ; cold and hollow embodying the winter dawns lack of warmth which it had held before. ‘Well, would you looky who decided to join the party.’ He still kept his eyes on me but I could see the light had gone from them. Dead. He had become distant. The hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention as my instincts knew he had that look for a reason. ‘you know what I think Lucille is feeling neglected… ‘-he brought the bat to his face leaning his ear towards it as his face became contemplative.-‘mmhmm… what’s that? Oh, yes. I’ll ask.’’ Then he called behind ‘’ Lucille wants to know where the fuck you fuckers have been.’’

As I looked at Negan’s intrigued face I thought- _butter wouldn’t melt-_ and I knew this man was a danger. I tensed every muscle to stop myself from reaching for Su and hacking and kicking my way out. I was close to cramping everywhere when I looked at the ginger man. His smug face of amusement had disappeared to be replaced with barely restrained fear. My body stopped clenching as my stomach dropped in the realisation that maybe I killed the wrong man.

‘’I’m waiting’’ Negan barked which sent a rippling start through the men present. Of them most were bloodied but not wounded. They had obviously been the ones to clear the area of dead and probably any poor bastards still alive. When no one offered an answer or even an excuse for that matter Negan pumped his eyebrows at me before swinging round to address his men as Lucille lazily twirled at his side.

He surveyed them for a beat before Lucille, seemingly of her own volition, directed his attention towards a certain individual. ‘’oh Richard’’ he sang happily. Eyes darted toward the beefy man whose hands were painted with blood. Fresh and bright. Some unfortunate soul had met this behemoth. He stood statuesque in the cold predawn light. ‘’come’ere’’ I could hear the manic grin in Negan’s voice as though what he was thinking of was rather amusing.

Richard approached from the back of the crowd and those in front were all too eager to step aside for the lumbering 6ft 5’’ ish man. His face was grim but a few telling signs told me, and more than likely Negan, what the idiot was thinking. The corners of his mouth tugged down as the muscles in his jaw flexed add to that his shaking hands which he was restraining from forming fists. The brute thought that he was hiding the fact that he thought he could take Negan. That there was no reason for him to be made an example of. Maybe Max had the right idea, but he just wasn’t strong enough. Just suppress the fist till I get close enough to land a hit and take the crown.

As he approached his gaze didn’t waver from Negan’s face. Negan, on the other hand, was carefully looking from each of his men to make sure that they were watching and fuck were they. With baited breath. My hand was at my side now moving slowly to Su as all the men were distracted. Not to make a daring escape attempt mind you. I knew that was stupid. What I also knew was that big ass Ricky had no interest in keeping me alive. Not long after he raped me anyway. My best shot was to protect Negan, be useful, and find out why he hadn’t tried to kill me whilst we were alone or tell his men to make my head rattle with bullets. He had a plan that meant I would be alive long enough to escape.

Richard was 10 feet away now as Negan spoke up loud again. ‘’ you see Lucille says that you drove off before looking for me. Left us to be chew toys for those dead fuckers.” He was nearly there and I was prepared to wait a few more steps but dickhead went early. Like I said ‘idiot’. I saw his fist clench first then he pulled back and lunged. I was by Negan at that point Su in my left hand. I was going to let him land the punch then slice into his neck. It was thick so I probably wouldn’t sever it cleanly. But it would be enough that the death would be quick enough for some to who had probably just pulverised someone to death with his fists. I kept that in mind to strengthen my resolve.

While the dance that Richard and I were stepping was playing out Negan was in a whole other ballroom. After scrutinising his crowd he continued to talk. ‘’you know Lucille said that you’ve been a-‘’ at this point he side stepped away from Richards swing. Now the idiot was closer to hitting me than Negan. Instinct kicked in as the large man’s body came hurtling towards me. Luckily his fist was aimed at Negan,s head height a head above me. My swing cut low dragging the blade across his body. But it didn’t end there. As I stepped away from my strike I saw the flash of Negan’s bat came down hard atop Richards head.

‘’You’ve been a _bat boy’’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was just a quick chapter to get me over the january hump but i hope you liked it! ;)


	6. this man is dangerous...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan is starting to change her already. Madeliene can't afford to follow this demon but she can't fight him either. yet...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for ending the last chapter on a really bad pun ;)  
> hope you have been enjoying the story and soon we will be getting to the good stuff.  
> if you have anything you want me to include or just contribute then message me :D

I came to stand still with my back to the aftermath. I didn’t need to look. But I could hear the wet slaps which hit the floor. I couldn’t help it really; my curiosity won. I turned around slowly, choking back the gagging reflex that just the noise was triggering.

Richard was hunched on the floor. He had come down on his knees and now his head and chest had landed in an awkward position on the floor. He stared at me clawing at his guts which now slowly oozed from his stomach. His head had a divot in the top from Lucille surrounded by the gouges left from her barbed wire. The light was fading from his eyes. And with it I could feel the world begin to slip away. I crashed onto one knee, Su supporting me, I watched as the blood ran from her sleek metal to the floor. A cooling sludge pooling at her point. In the distance I vaguely identified Negan’s continued monologue.

‘ _’Fuuuuck me_ would you look at this shit!’’ he screeched gleefully. ‘’she got you _good._ And I don’t know which girl to thank, frankly. Was it Lucille? Or that Madame? I just- don’t- know!’’ his voice seemed to dance around the words with pure delight at what had just happened. ‘’JE-SUS!. Just look at’cha there just tryin to _pull it together_ ’’ with that pun he gave a hearty laugh which echoed through the silence of the rest of us. A sickly shadow to his chuckle was the gurgling that escaped Richards lips as his fingers finally stopped twitching around a length of his intestines.

His men, I now saw, stood to attention. They were watching this unfold; some had hardened expressions telling more than I wanted to know and others were just holding on to their breakfast like me. But I suspected we had different triggers for our shared nausea.

I was dirty. That was it. It wasn’t a clean kill. I always did it clean, even if it meant getting a little bruised and battered I always made it clean. Yes, it had been messy when I first started but I apologised for that every night as their faces flitted through my mind. Now I had trained; found the art and skill. Now I didn’t have to feel this way because I could control it and make it as quick and clean as possible.

This wasn’t me. This wasn’t how I did it. He had used me to get what he wanted. A spectacle for his men. So that they knew the price of trying to kill the king.

Weakly I pushed Su away. She had betrayed me; a stupid lie to stop the world running away from my control. It may have been the shock or panic but Su fell like a feather. A piece of my heart sinking as she clattered on the dirty floor; flicking icy drops onto my skin. With Richard ultimately out of his misery the disturbance of Su called everyone’s attention to me.

‘’well, now look here Mademoiselle don’t go feinting now. I was just starting to get used to you being such a hard ass…’’ he handed the bloodied Lucille to the ginger man who obediently took hold and stood aside. Negan approached causing the sudden realisation of my vulnerable position becoming apparent to me. Had I bet right, was I right in saving this man?

 My stomach spasmed wanting to push the little it contained up my oesophagus. But I forced my throat to close over, holding my breath, the world began to spin.  A trick of my swimming consciousness Negan suddenly appeared closer. His image swayed as he crouched before me. For a minute he scrutinised my face before leaning in close to whisper in my ear ‘’Breathe…’’ his voice was smooth and rich. The warm tickle of his breath sent a frisson down my spine.  And I fought against my insides wanting to unwind.

It worked, despite my protesting mind. My nostrils flared of their own volition releasing the stale air from my lungs and suck in desperately the fresh air that my panic had starved cut off. A part of me wanted to crumble into hysterical laughter at how much my sinuses pulsed, hurting still, and mostly because of how much I sounded like a breaching whale. For a long minute as the spots cleared from my vision and the breathing began to come easier I didn’t notice what Negan was doing.

He was staring.

Again.

His cognac eyes were fixed on my face; searching for something. I stared back wondering what exactly he would see in my green eyes. The exposure to his intense staring eyes was becoming too much again. I couldn’t give him whatever he was looking for so there was no point him looking. Seeking any sort of reprieve I looked to the first person my eyes could find. Unfortunately, that person was the lanky ginger fellow. In my periphery I could see that the rest of the men had remained still, looking at each other, obviously trying to predict what they would be doing next. But not Ginger tom. His gaunt and pale face was set in a conflicted expression: Glaring, hate filled eyes fixed on Negan and myself whilst his mouth was twisted into a restrained and cruel grin. The that combined with his easy stance whilst holding onto the bloodied and gruesome Lucille made for an unsettling image. More so than Negan’s brutal display…

Once he realised that I had been scrutinising him the pale face changed to an ominous cocky grin.

With a surge of hot anger I wanted to get up and smack that grin right off of his stupid face.

But that would have to wait for with the surge came an aftershock of dizziness which churned my stomach and threatened to put me completely on my arse. I would have to put all of my efforts into standing without falling back down. Or god forbid fainting in front of Negan’s pack of jackals.

I closed my eyes to prepare myself. Opening them again I looked to Negan whose expression had turned from curiosity to concern. But a few seconds of eye contact as I schooled my expression into one of indifference and I saw the look sour into one of frustration with that crazed smile he had worn for his men. I had to stop my eyes from betraying my upset at his distanced mien.

‘’right you fuckers’’ he bellowed as he rose to stand, leaving me further behind. ‘’ clear out this shit I left on the shelves’’ he pointed carelessly towards the shops dishevelled aisles then began to walk away.

I looked at the floor to hide my suddenly wide eyes. _Is he going to leave me be? Am I that lucky?_

‘’Oh’’ he paused mid-stride to add on ‘’don’t forget to pick up the meds in the back cabinet’’ he smirked in my direction as I snuck a peek to assess what was going on. His men were scurrying to their assignments. Most scooping up supplies, they could have them, others with the heaviest artillery stood guard around the trucks.

Negan strolled up to the ginger tom to take Lucille back. ‘’ oooh dirty girl’’ he crooned at the weapon. ‘’ hey Dwight you can drive up front I'll be in the rear truck for a little r and r’’ he smiled a wicked toothy grin before swanning off. The look this Dwight shot at Negan’s back was trouble. _Er, fuck it! So long as they leave me my satchel and Su none of it's my fucking problem._  I let myself sink onto all fours saying a little thank you to the universe for releasing me from a sticky trap. Then Negan’s voice rose above the clamour of his men's movements to address me. _Shit._

‘’excuse me Mademoiselle but if you could join me.’’ I looked up, not bothering to hide the shock on my face, to see Negan hanging off of one of the truck doors smiling like the Cheshire cat. _Shit._

‘’Oi! Ass hat!’’ he called to one of the men ‘’don’t forget to pick up the ladies baggage- and for the love of god don’t let her have that knife back!’’ she chuckled as he disappeared into the cab of the truck.

Well, I was dumbfounded. So much so that I simply went along as a husky gentleman lifted me on to my feet and escorted me to the truck. Another hurried to collect Su. So I came to the truck, a man’s firm grip on my arm, my mind had stalled not yet believing my situation. The man opened the driver's side for me to slide into the middle I assumed. But as I stepped up and reached to grab the roof and swing in in Negan spoke up once more. He was at ease reclining on the passenger side arms folded and legs crossed. All and all he was in his element.

‘’hold up-‘’ he swirled his finger in the air towards me ‘’- best tie those hands up. Don’t know what other tricks she has up her sleeves.’’ With that, he put his head back and began whistling that stupid tune.

At the command, the man escorting me pulled me roughly back to the concrete road. Jostling me he moved my hands behind my back and pulled out some rope. God knew from where or how often he did this for him to be prepared for it. His grip became tighter as he held both of my small wrists with one hand and fumbled with the rope in the other. The rope was tangled and as he tried to unravel it one handed he grumbled with frustration. Frustrated he increased his grip until I sucked in a breath through my teeth due to the pain. At this Negan became alerted once more he jolted up right, yelling from the cab. ‘’ no you fuck’n idiot! Tie them in front and not so rough, you animal, we’re not savages. Does she look stupid enough to make a run for it?’’

I had to agree with the bastard; I wasn’t going anywhere. I wasn’t a do or die sort of girl. Didn’t feel that I should die pointlessly if I could help it. With Negan’s scorn fresh the man who was in charge of me released my wrists saying a polite ‘please turn round, miss’ to which I complied. I even positioned my wrist crossed in front of me to show my obedience. I now could get a good look at the man. He wasn’t a man. A boy still, really. Blonde hair cut short, hazel eyes and a stocky muscular build. He was taller than me but shorter than Negan so I would guess 5ft 11’’ maybe 6ft. He avoided my eyes, dipping his head so that I could see the top, I could see uneven strands growing. He cut his hair with scissors. A small smile ghosted my lips as callused hands gently tied the rope. If I could just stay in this moment – go no further. I wouldn’t have to face what lay ahead. I closed my eyes and made that wish over and over. The smile grew as the standing of time dragged on. Maybe there was a god…

‘’ you didn’t do that too tight did you? I think we got ourselves a masochist the way she’s smiling at’cha’’

Or not


	7. should i fight?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> do you fight what seems inevitable; fight the current. or do you follow it and satisfy a warped, persisting curiosity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just a short chapter to get where we are going- hopefully.  
> but enjoy all the same.

I really was in no mood for his teasing. My smile flew away and instead a weary line rested upon my lips. I heaved my eyelids up to see the boy had finished his work and now stood awkwardly waiting for an order. I gave him a curt nod of thanks, not waiting any longer, I bounced up onto the truck's frame and uncomfortably used one of my restrained hands to levy a swing into the cab. Landing quite far in I was happy enough to say that I was in the middle of the long black leather seat. However, _someone_ soon made me aware of my mistake.

‘’uh uh darlin’.’’ He called my attention to him. Praying for strength I lolled my head to the side to give him my most ‘the fuck do you want now?’’ look. He responded with a wickedly handsome grin. _Ah shit._

_‘’_ now, now, _Madame_.’’ He tutted and wagged his finger in mock disapproval. I straightened and made myself look almost demure. I had seen that smile a few times now and it always seemed akin to a dog baring its teeth in warning. So I was to take notice.

‘’better.’’ He relaxed, returning to a reclined posture, he looked out the window screen as the last few things that had been scavenged from the pharmacy and surrounding shops. ‘’now since we’re alone for a little bit I wanted to let you know the rules for when we get back.’’ _Back where?_ I thought while peering up at the sky that was now blooming with crimson. _Sailor’s warning. A storm? Fitting…_

‘’ scooch up we need room for the big boy _Davey_.’’ I wanted to protest, say _there’s room enough for two people_ but I thought the better of it and complied. Negan watched carefully as I scooted along. It wasn’t until our thighs almost met did he speak. ‘’Good’nough’’ he shrugged. ‘’now, rule number 1 – behave’’ he enunciated the word but kept his eyes on the work outside. He was thinking of something as he said that word – an underlying meaning. But I couldn’t yet decipher it. ‘’next; when we get back _you stay with me_ ’’ well that was… good? Was he protecting me? Returning a favour? Or was I still to see his cruelty. My stomach clenched at the thought of him attacking me. He hadn’t yet, though.

‘’the rest of the rules are for your-new-life’’ he danced on his words again almost singing them. But they didn’t make me want to dance. They made me want to bolt. I gripped my pants trying to halt the tremors. _Was this my new life? No fucking way!_

I glanced at Negan he was hunkering down for the journey. I sympathise with him. My muscles ached and my eyelids felt heavy from lack of sleep. But this meant he wasn’t going to expect it. He wouldn’t suspect when I would dive out the door once most of his men were loaded up. My heart began to race as I waited for the best opportunity. My eyes flitted wildly to look around and clock everyone’s positions.

 It would have to be now.

A quick look at Negan. I was confident that I could get away if I acted fast enough. I leant slowly towards the open door; still watching Negan. I was ready to lunge for the door hook on the roof handle and swing out so as to land on my feet and start running. I would have to forget Su. And my satchel. But I had my emergency bag still on and they hadn’t searched me so river remained in my waistband. That would have to do till I could find somewhere to trade my skills.

I was ready.

Now my heart shouted.

Now!

In the doorway stood the blonde boy. He blocked the exit completely. I stared at him a trembling beginning in my lips. Negan said behave…

But all he did was shake his head slowly. He was telling me that now was most certainly not the time. And so he jumped up and took his place behind the wheel. He slammed the door and my last hope of getting out of this before it began.

‘’get over here’’ Negan’s voice was gruff with exhaustion. His arm came around my shoulders pulling me backwards to be tucked up in his shoulder. ‘’now get some rest we got a while before we get to the sanctuary’’

So now here I was snuggled with a schitzo who swung like David Bowie.

I focused on the sky, how the crimson bled from the dawning sun until it disappeared to a subdued grey, its ethereal beauty lulling me into a queer calm. I knew I was on my way to god knew where with a gang of men whom so far had been ruthless. But that was on the back burner.

I was so tired. It must have been the adrenaline waning. I look at Negan from my place in the crook of his arm. He was sleeping almost soundly. Strange that he could get right back on the horse after _two_ attempted coups; who knew how many more of his men harboured rebellion in their hearts. I could certainly think of one. The Ginger Dwight. That name probably gave him delusions of grandeur. I preferred Tom. Wanton.  Wan-tom.

I derisive snort escaped me at my own pun.

A cough came from _big boy Davey._  He gave me a suspicious side glance before adjusting his seating position. Which just so happened to make a show of his handgun at his back. _Stupid._ If I wanted to I could grab the gun before he could. Shoot him in the head whilst taking river from my waist and pierce Negan’s heart before I jumped over him to roll from this god forsaken truck; hoping it careened into one of the others.

But like I said I was tired. And though I was loathed to admit it part of me had already given in. and another was _really_ curious about what sort of place this guy was running.

With that, I looked back to the sky as we began to drive through a wooded road.my eyes finally gave up fighting and closed. Over the engines roar, I could hear the faint screech of a buzzard. The susurrous of the wild carried me to my dreams.

Like most, they were of England.

Of home. Family. All I had lost to this damned world.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit is a very necessary word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, I'm back to writing this story for a bit to see how it goes.  
> i hope you enjoy this chapter ;)

 

The jerking stop of the truck nearly sent me into the dash board. That was my rude awakening.

‘’all out’’ someone up ahead called. And the men started to disembark, including Davey.

‘’well good morning, Sunshine.’’ Negan was awake too. From the lack of groggy slur in his voice he had been awake for a while longer than I. c _reepy._ His arm was still draped around my shoulders and one foot now rested on the dash. He was smiling brilliantly.

Glad he could feel so excited to be here, I on the other hand was almost shitting myself with anxiety. Negan stretched, arching his back like a happy cat. ‘’well…’’ he turned and kicked open his door jumping out of the cab. He shouted to someone or other walking away to delegate.

And so I was alone. _I could just lean into this seat until I disappear. Haa… school memories._ But it appeared I was soon missed.

‘’mademoiselle’’ Negan reappeared at the door offering his hand. He was quite the gentlemen- when his women were tied up. I hoped not to be in this situation often and find out if it was a trend. After I had paused for a minute or two Negan’s face softened into a moue, raising his eyebrows and bulging his large brown eyes. A regular puppy.

‘’Pwomise I won’t bite’’ he spoke mimicking a shy couldn’t-hurt-a-fly toddler. I knew that he was Damon.

But to keep myself in his good graces I smiled; not yet willing to admit that I found him charming. He gave a crooked easy grin in response. I scooted along to take his hand self-consciously minding my pressure on his hands. Didn’t need any of THAT teasing from him. When I came to stand out in what was already the afternoon sun I peered around to see where this rabbit hole had lead.

I was in what appeared to be the front car park of some sort of industrial factory. The men who had driven back with us were now milling around the trucks checking over the cargo and waiting for the gates to be opened. That was all normal.

What wasn’t normal were the defences.

Around the perimeter fence, in clusters of 6-8 and being wrangled by worn men dressed in soiled uniforms were strays. Those that I could see numbered 20 to 30 of these clusters. Strays pulled at and rattled chains which held them. Others were crudely impaled to the spot simply clawing at the air. A resounding and persistent death rattle filled the place; my skin crawled.

What had I gotten myself into?

‘’this way’’ Negan called to me as he began walking towards the gates that were suddenly open. Lucille dangled lazily from his hand. He was vigilant even when at peace.

As he passed a few men sweating under the high sun used poles to keep those strays who guarded the gate at bay they forgot their tasks – their safety- and dropped to one knee in reverence. Negan glanced back to where I still stood and flashed a boastful grin.

The king was back.

That grin almost disappeared, however, when he realised that I had failed to follow him. But he kept a small smile on his face. Which may have been more frightening. His gaze left me and finding another target he whistled before pointing in my direction.  A fear gripped my chest. I took a step back only to hit an obstacle. Davey stood like a wall behind me.

Negan twirled Lucille to rest upon his shoulder before swinging out his arm in a grand gesture of welcome, ushering me through the gates.

It all seemed a little too much. The whole picture laid before me was too absurd to comprehend. I saved a man then got myself abducted by said man and his militia and now he was oh so _cordially_ inviting me into his kingdom where, if the stray grunts were any reflection on, revered this man as a king- nay a god who held their lives in fickle hands.

When I still didn’t move Negan’s voice came sharp cutting through my trance ‘’Madam’’  

I could tell that his patience with me was wearing thin. From over my shoulder came a grunted whisper ‘’ move, before he gets angry’’ accompanied by a helpful nudge.

It got me moving at least. Towards wonderland.

As I approached Negan, who was happy seeing that I was being watched, moved on. The poor souls who bowed to him went back to moving the strays out of our way and generally shuffling their positions. Once Davey and I were through the gates they closed the great iron structures behind us. The engines of our convoy came to life once more pulling away down some access path which belonged to the factory.

We walked on with Negan leading god only knew where. But as we went deeper into the maze of the factory’s buildings and corridors my anxiety was at screaming levels. It was only the now warm River which pressed against my skin giving me a tether to hold on to. I still had her, and I could take a fucker down so long as I did.

‘’this is our stop’’ Negan opened a door which ended a comparatively short corridor.

He held the door open for me and I wasted no time in following the implied command. Before following me he turned back to Davey ‘’stick around’’ he handed off Lucille and stepped into the room. Before the door closed I managed to see Davey giving me a concerned look. What the fuck now?

If he had that bat ten what could Negan do?

I felt a scream clawing its way up my throat.

The room was pretty luxurious in an apocalyptic damnation way. It was boxy and white with one window facing out to the road and a set of double doors that led to what I could only think was a torture room. But it was well furnished two couches facing each other in the centre of the room. A nicely stocked bar in the corner complete with comfy barstools. Yep the room was even complete with six women in slinky black dresses striking poses around the room. When they saw me, I wouldn’t say that they relaxed so much as they faulted in their poses with confusion painting their faces.

‘’Ladies!’’ he started his voice filling the room- there was to be no doubt as to who was in charge. ‘’this is Maddy. Mademoiselle these are my _lovely_ wives.’’ He made a swooping gesture so that I could take in the image of the six women whose smiles were taught from over use.

And I did take the site in.

It was awful.

I took a step back. He had six ‘’ _wives’’_ which I could only think was a nice term for victims. There was no way these women chose this. I looked around the room seeing the magazines and dvds. The _alcohol_. All things to keep them occupied in this confined space whilst he went out and looted.

I would have taken a few more steps back- started into a sprint- trying to get out of this place. But Negan’s smile finally dropped as he came behind me to place his hands on my shoulders. He leaned in- his lips a little too close to my ear. Then his rumbling voice came in low and smokey ‘’now, now, darlin’ don’t be afraid of the mrs – _s’_. they won’t bite’’  he stood tall and let the room here the next part. ‘’at least not if I don’t ask them too- though I’d watch tiffany’’ he pointed to a beautiful woman with umber skin. She flashed some teeth- I couldn’t call it a smile because I don’t think she put the effort in. but a moment later when her eyes flickered to over my shoulder she was smiling- beaming even.

I swallowed hard. This was not a place I needed to be. This shit was scary.

I looked around again and saw two of the six wives had seated themselves on one of two red settee. I only paused on them because I noticed how the blonde’s eyes were slightly puffy and wet- from using a wet cloth to take away the redness from crying.

The other woman looked to be thirty or so a brunette with short hair. She was also pretty they both had that going for them. Her smile was perfection as she sat a little in front of her companion angling herself as the focus point. But though her face said ‘’hello darling!’’ her eyes shifted to mine and held a strange mixture of threat and warning- a threat not to draw attention to them and a warning to get the hell out of dodge.

_I’m trying!_

‘’now!’’ Negan squeezed my shoulders for a long second before one hand left me to direct my attention to a single woman. His other hand trailed down my spine to come to rest on the middle of my back. I was just thankful that I had three layers on. He guided me to the woman closest- blonde with brown roots and brown eyes that looked four sheets to the wind.

‘’tut-tut’’ he began ‘’now, Sharona. Is this any way to greet your hard working husband – especially when he’s brought you a new friend.’’ I bit my cheek to stop from protesting – this wasn’t the time.

Her unfocused eyes struggled to fix on us eventually tiffany came over to block Shauna from site. She pressed her palms onto his chest looking up at him with moon cow eyes. ‘’oh honey, ignore her she found out that an old friend died- she’s a bit shaken’’ Negan’s free hand came to stroke Tiffany’s cheek she flinched but payed it off with a laugh.

‘’and what friend was this?- you see the only people who died were Max and Richie – and I know the only one she could know from those two would be max…’’ he paused and tiffany stepped back suddenly full of quiet fear. ‘’and well you see Max had this little plan- you might know it – it’s where I die and he _frees_ you all.’’ That predatory smile – not a smile- came back and I went to move away but his hand suddenly wrapped around my waist hugging me to him. ‘ oh Sharona dear!’’  He called to the woman mockingly- ‘’perhaps you should go wait for me down stairs?’’ it was an offer but obviously it was a command. I mean we all flinched and when he whistled high and sharp Davey came in.

I think all eyes immediately went to Lucille.

‘’Davey boy! Come and escort Sharona downstairs…’’ he left something unsaid which I could only imagine to be dreadful. When I looked at tiffany’s expression of heart wrenching sympathy and knew it was worse than what I could imagine.

‘’yes sir.’’ Davey said quietly coming to take Sharona’s hand. Her dizzy drunken state wasn’t allowing her to feel the terror which I think everyone with their faculties intact would have been feeling. But I suspected this was best. The girls looked away whilst Davey calmly led her from the room.

Even Negan just stared straight ahead. He didn’t give her a second glance. But I did.

The woman who was lead from this twisted cage wasn’t really there anymore- a living ghost.

The door clicked and Negan came back to life. He smiled down at me with a kind smile which boggled my brain. I was getting whiplash from this guy. ‘’This is tiff’ ‘’ he introduced the black woman who couldn’t meet his eyes anymore. The obsidian orbs just looked to the floor in submission. But Negan paid no attention moving swiftly on.

‘’this is Michelle’’ now Michelle was a timid brunette with blue eyes and a tan. She batted her eyes like a doe and blushed as Negan kissed her cheek whispering something into her ear. Whatever he said she smiled and turned beet red. I could guess.

‘And this is the lovely Laura.’’ Negan moved me over to the bar where a knock out bombshell sat nursing a long island iced tea. Blonde ringlets cascaded down to her mid back. Hazel eyes where made up to perfection with light make up. Her body was just- well I could appreciate the work that I only hoped went into it. But a sour part of my head was pretty sure she had been like this since birth and was indeed a natural beauty. A fucking unicorn.

Laura pouted. ‘’Negan’’ she whined ‘’you’ve been gone for so long and that damn Sharona has been annoying me all night with her drinking and crying not to mention amber has been a bummer.’’ Se flicked a hand towards the blonde on the settee who started before shrinking into the furniture- whoa, cut throat. ‘’Sherry has been consoling her all night because of that damn mark-‘’ suddenly she stopped and I turned to see why. Negan’s face had become ominous. Brows lowered and that cocky grin he always seemed to have at the corner of his mouth was gone. What remained was an expression of grim anger which left my blood cold.

Laura however seemed almost pleased as she lifted the drink to cover her smirk of victory.  Well who knew the bombshell would be so radioactive- best not to stick close.

But though I tried to keep my eyes from looking they disobeyed and drifted back to meet Negan’s warm chocolate ones. When his gaze of cruel intentions hit me I felt as if my eyes would pop out of their sockets and a tremor ran through my body.

He gave me a small squeeze as that cocky smirk came back with a wink to top it off. My heart rate sped at the sight and I couldn’t be sure it was only out of fear.

I was turned on my heel to stop in front of Sherry the brunette and amber who flinched as Negan let go of me to reach for her hand. As he brought her to stand in front of him I had a second to contemplate running full force into the door to try and knock whoever was behind it down and take my chances running like hell.

I caught sherry’s eye and with one discreet shake of her head I knew my stupid plan was also deadly so I stood as still as possible to watch whatever was coming next.

Negan smiled a little menacingly down on amber who couldn’t meet his gaze his eyes for long. When she turned her face his free hand shot out to clamp on her jaw and turn her back to face him. ‘’you know, darlin’, you can always go back.’’ Her red eyes widen as she swallowed. ‘’Go back to mark. Go back to the factory – to your job.’’

Now I had no idea what sort of jobs these people did but if her terror stricken face was anything to go by then it wold appear they were working in hell and even love wouldn’t make her go back. She just made and ‘uhuh’ noise just like a toddler. She was obviously choking on her words. Terror had taken her colour. I wouldn’t have been surprised or even judgemental if she had wet herself- I fucking would staring into a tigers eyes.

Negan shift his pose into one which reminded me of loosening your belt after a good meal- years since that’s happened… ‘ _’but_!’’ he said raising a penalising leather wrapped finger. ‘’ _What_ is the _one thing_ that you can- _not_ do, hm?’’ he pursed his lips waiting for her answer.

‘ah-‘’ she began with a creaking whisper but Negan interrupted patronisingly raising his hand to his ear telling her to ‘speak up’.  ‘’ch-cheat on you..’’ she finished and her posture and voice reminded me of a child being told off.

This shit was getting super weird… I really need to find out what the fuck he wanted and get out of here.

He gave a wink and a smile to Sherry as his hips sway to his lithe and subtle victory dance. Then an abrupt clap which nearly stopped my heart before he turned to the room ‘’well- that’s that.’’ He turned back to me and smiled brilliantly and wildly as he spoke ‘’what ar’ya drinkin’?’’

I think I must of gaped like a guppy for a few seconds before he joked ’’I can see your parched’’ before flashing those teeth again. ‘’How ‘bout I treat us to one of those long islands? Yeah? Yeah.’’ He snapped his fingers in Laura’s direction. ‘’Laura darlin’, get us two of those delicious things – be=it of lemon.’’ She smiled at me like a lioness in the zoo- Negan was the only thing stopping her from slashing at my guts.

‘’of course!’’ she chirped a happy bird. Before she slinked around the bar to begin preparing the drinks- she was smiling to herself.

Then with his work apparently done, he flopped back onto the unoccupied settee to rest with his legs crossed and his arms stretching along the back.  ‘’have a seat.’’ He offered with a relaxed smile as he snuggled into the comfort of the cushions. I was in his kingdom now- he could relax knowing everything could be bent to his will. He could put a knife in me and get a new settee by dinner. I swallowed the dry lump in my throat feeling it burn. I was parched indeed. But I wasn’t drinking anything that woman prepared with that eerie smile.

I went to happily oblige making to sit on the couch behind me as Sherry rose to walk over to a retreating Amber. She shot Negan a look which I thought was a very dangerous thing to do. But he ignored her or didn’t see as he put his hand up. ’’no’’ he protested. ‘’over here’’ he said smoothly as he patted the space on one side of him. I felt my eyes bulge a little at the prospect. I gave a quick glance to the space thinking that as he occupied the middle of the two seater settee he had left two snug gaps on either side of him- basically, would I fit?

I knew that I had lost weight. The apocalypse will do that- great for dieting and exercise. When I last had to scrounge for clothes I was a size 8 in American sizes what that was in my native land I never bothered to investigate. Chest 86 G cup Taurus- favourite colour purple… I could go on!

But at first you’re like yay then your like fuck I have to find new pants so they don’t fall down and trip me while I’m getting chased.

Anyway I hadn’t bothered with a mirror for that last three years at least. No point when you don’t want to know the person staring back.

Anyway I eyed the space nervously as I approached not wanting to irk him anymore. When I reached him he smiled up at me patiently waiting. Turned around to sit blindly. I shut my eyes praying- _let me fit –please let me fit._

Then I felt fingers hook onto my belt and pull me backwards. I gave a small ‘eep’ as I fell backwards to fit snuggly into the space pressed against his thigh and side. hs arm came to lay behind me. with a satisfied ‘’there’’ he wiggled his arse in the cushions to press upon me even harder. Where was that drink!

He looked happy at having his own way. And- and he looked tired. I mean he was supposed to after the whole getting shot and shit but I just didn’t expect to recognise it in this king among survivors. It somehow calmed me and allowed me to take a breath.

He caught me looking and winked. A heat rose up on my cheeks that was definitely unwelcome. Luckily before it could be addressed the lovely Laura appeared with a tray carrying two drink one she handed to Negan, the other she placed on the table. Negan took a long sip from his tall glass of golden liquid. I eyed mine with longing –it had been so long since I had had a cool cocktail. I could see droplets of condensation form on its outside which made me involuntarily lick my lips. I shot a glance at Negan who had stopped drinking to cast his gaze on me.

What was he thinking?

‘’drink- I didn’t dope it’’ he laughed.

I searched his eyes- he seemed honest and my throat burned from my sickness. I cleared my throat and thanked him with that gravelly voice which had seemed to hide my accent. I gently lifted the glass to my lips and after another beat I decided to trust my instincts and drink it- he had looked honest. The feeling of quenching my thirst was beyond relief and before I realised the drink was gone and I was opening my eyes in shock. I had downed it in one. Stupid.

I looked at the people in the room sheepishly feeling somehow embarrassed for being thirsty- britishness, a curse!

Negan smiled which I guess was good as opposed to angering him. But then I looked at his wives. Tiffany had dead eyes as she stared blankly at the door clearly somewhere else. Michelle stared at the floor resigned to something. Sherry was comforting Amber but when she met my eyes hers became pitying. The final nail in the coffin was Laura who smiled sweetly at me. Shit- fuck and Buggery

I was so fucking stupid . I swiftly stood and turned to look at Negan who offered a hand ‘’ come sit darlin’. You don’t want to do anything stupid.’’ He advised as my vision glitched. The glass in his had disappeared and reappeared in a millisecond. Then the floor tilted and I couldn’t stay upright.

‘’What-‘’ I croaked before crashing to my knees a pain building from keeping my eyes open. Negan stood with his drink to stand over me swirling his glass before taking a big gulp to polish it off. He squatted in front of me as my arms shook from holding my body up.

‘said I didn’t dope ya- I didn’t.’’ he was still telling the truth. ‘’but that Laura- she can be an imp.’’ He grinned like a cat to the mouse.

‘’you-‘’ I began but he stopped me with a gentle finger on my lips.

‘’shush, just have a good rest.’’

I didn’t feel my head hit the floor- heard it. But by the time the thump echoed in the blackness I didn’t care.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you liked this please comment. i like to hear others opinions :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> complicated questions...

Waking up was a particular nightmare; I was back home. Sat in front of the fire with my family waiting for the first snow. The smell of the timber burning. The delicious taste of hot chocolate and whipped cream. And the warm embrace of my mother as we sat looking out of the window all of us chatting and chuckling. It was so real. That distant memory of hope.

But no- he wouldn’t even let me have that.

‘’wakey wakey mademoiselle.’’ That husky voice floated into my ear shooting terror down my spine. I immediately opened my eyes partially frozen as if a snake was in the room with me. I searched for him to the left where I had heard him whisper. Suddenly a great thump came, onto what I realised was a bed, from my right. I shot up to scoot on my bum away from him. he lounged on the bed in nothing but steam and a towel. His bare chest was dripping from what I would have assumed was a shower if it didn’t sound so outlandish nowadays.

He was propped up on one elbow the other arm draped over his middle partially covering his impressive abs… not the time. What the hell was he up to? My head felt fuzzy- I couldn’t think. His smile was bewitching yet again as he stared up at me.

‘’go ahead honey-‘’ he moved his hand to give me an unobstructed view of his body ‘’have a treat…’’ he purred.

I made a point of locking eyes with him. he wouldn’t distract me with this charade- he wanted something and for the life of me, I couldn’t say what- that was definitely scary.

His smile widened at my defiance before he blew air through his lips in frustration. He rolled onto his back, his hands cradling his head as he stared at the ceiling. I took the chance to take a quick scan of the room- it was pretty neutral. cream walls with interesting pictures of dramatic horses and battles- all looked like original paintings… looted. But I had no judgement. Doubt the owners would care anymore. The bed was a king with grey sheets and two side tables with a lamp and  jug of water on each. There was also two grey couches and an en-suite from what I could see.

Negan drew my attention back to him when he began talking. ‘’well my little Maddy, what on earth are we going to do?’’ I cocked my eyebrow curious as to what he could mean. He looked at me and smiled softly- it was killer. Then he stared at the ceiling again ‘’we are in a predicament of sorts…’’ he paused clearly waiting for some sort of agreement.

I cleared my throat, feeling the slight burn still there but easing- that tea must have helped. ‘’ what predicament are _we_ in, exactly?’’ it came out a little more normal with my light saccharine voice which didn’t really suit me.

‘’hot damn!’’ Negan jumped up onto his elbows to stare at me with a pleased expression. ‘’you got one hell of an accent there- damn sexy.’’ I gave him an unamused look- I wasn’t a fan of teasing.  His eyes closed a little as he let that smile fade into a smirk before he leant back. ‘’so where are you from?’’ he asked very politely.

I felt my British nature surfacing as I wanted to be polite and respond. And I did. ‘’I’m from England, north- near Liverpool to be precise if you know it.’’

‘’Beatles?’’

‘’Yeah, Beatles…’’ I rolled my eyes. That really was the only way some people knew Liverpool. Never mind being key for British trade in the centuries gone or being a capital of culture-ah… I missed England.

‘’So why is a little English lamb all alone in Virginia?’’ Negan continued.

Okay so here was a pivotal moment- I could either tell the truth which I didn’t think would make a very good first impression. Or.. ’’I was here for a veterinary conference ‘’ I looked at the ceiling hoping he would believe me.

‘’hmm,-‘’ he was mulling it over when I looked back he was nodding to himself ‘’would explain the good job you did on my wound.’’ The knot in my stomach loosened a little.

Before he could poke a hole in my story somehow I continued ‘’yep- you were lucky I was there.’’ I smiled nervously trying to boast. He gave me a knowing look and I had to look away moistening my dry lips.

A shaking of the bed made me aware that he had shifted into a seated position on the edge of the bed- one leg still on the bed. The towel was slipping- _don’t_ _look!._ I looked him in his beautiful swirling eyes ‘’and there in lies our problem-‘’ I reared a little in confusion ‘’you saved my life’’

I couldn’t hold back the loud guffaw at his absurd reasoning.

When it died back I looked at his face seeing that it had set to a stoney grimace.

‘’sorry…’’ I said quietly feeling a little abashed.

‘’I can see you don’t really understand.’’ He let himself collapse back into the pillows whilst letting out a long sigh. I was just thankful he didn’t have those dead eyes on me anymore. He continued talking without looking for any understanding from me. ‘’you saved me- I owe you. That’s just how it works.’’

I scrunched my eyebrows doubting that a man like him had such a chivalrous code. He turned his head and I shook the expression away trying not to offend him anymore.

‘’and I don’t know when you'll call in that debt.’’ He eyed me seriously before turning back to stare at the ceiling. ‘’so you see… I cant let you go.’’

My mouth dropped. What in the actual fuck. How did this make sense- _I save him and he kidnaps me?_ Of course, I didn’t say that I just let my face show the shock and slight fear I felt.

He finally looked at me a playful smirk on his bearded face. ‘’oh don’t be like that- you’re not going to the cells-‘’ _they have cells?_ ‘’ – I’m going to make you an offer.’’  His smile grew.

It sent a chill down my spine. I had to speak before he made me an offer I literally couldn’t refuse. In a slightly strangled voice I tried to plead. ‘’but I don’t understand!- why cant you just let me go?’’ he cocked an eyebrow as in _refer to earlier_. ‘’but I wont call in any debt! I don’t care about that! I mean I only saved you because…’’ I searched for an answer to my own question but I couldn’t really find one that made sense- _why did I save him? it did me no good. What was going to be my plan?_

He was waiting so I just said the first thing that I could think of ‘’your handsome!-‘’ _ok, not the best reason.’’-_ I mean I guess I just didn’t like seeing you go to waste- besides I have the skills not to use them would be bad karma…’’ I had to look away he was looking like the cat who got the cream.

‘’haaa...’ he stood in his delicately tied towel which was slipping enough to show off his lower back and well defined pelvic v… _really_ not the time! ‘’ you say that mon Cherie… but how do I know you won't go and get yourself in some sort of trouble which means I have to save you?’’

He was making fuck all sense! I wasn’t going to call him for help- I didn’t want to see him again.

He looked at me seriously ‘’I cant let my people feel like I’m vulnerable.’’ He stared at me for a long second and I felt my soul being examined. ‘’so! Here’s my offer…’’ his hand came to his waist and I couldn’t help following it. Then he did it- he whipped the damn towel off.

I floundered for somewhere safe to look- the ceiling. But I couldn’t deny that I had seen it-him- all of him. my mind stalled I couldn’t think- it was like some sort of assault.

His voice came in low and deadly serious. ‘’be my wife.’’

In that predicament, I could hardly process what he was saying let alone reply. So I stared harder at the ceiling. _What in the hell was going on? What wife- he has six… well, five. It’s like a lion’s den in here._

Suddenly he took a hold of my chin and forced me to look at him as he leaned over the bed. He was still naked and there was no sign of the towel- his hair was dryer though. I focused on his chocolate eyes that pulled me in- it wasn’t safe to look anywhere else. ‘’so? Your answer mademoiselle?’’

My god- he was serious.

 

 


	10. Deals with the devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We all have to make them...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad people are enjoying this story and I hope you continue reading.

~*~  
His eyes burned into my mind trying to read it as he trapped me- I mean there was nowhere else that was safe to look.  
And he was waiting for an answer. An answer? To a completely preposterous question- I mean it was absurd!  
Be his wife – one of six? Though I supposed it would make housekeeping less of an ordeal and then there was support when he would be in a- hang on!   
No the answer had to be no!- so why was it that whilst staring into to his eyes did I ache for something primitive that I had never experienced… and that primitive side of me also knew that saying no to this man was not an option.   
Fiddle sticks.  
I had to say something.  
Anything. Literally anything would do to stall.   
So say something!  
‘’I’m a virgin!’’ I half screamed half squeaked in his face. Then I realised what I said.  
I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as Negan just stared for a moment in shock.  
I couldn’t take it!  
I didn’t care for the consequences- I whipped my chin out of his hand, squeezing my eyes shut, I threw myself backwards. Off the bed as it so happens. I remembered just in time to tuck in my head in as my back hit the floor with an almighty thwack. It sent the breath from my lungs and caused me to gape like a fish as I struggled for air. Finally snagging it into my lungs I pushed myself to rise and move towards one thing- the door. I put all my will power into that one purpose- I had to get out of here.   
There was probably as much chance as a pig flying in at that exact moment as I had of getting out of here. But if I could just get out of this room, this confined space, maybe I wouldn’t feel like this. It was too confusing; the intense fear mixing effervescently with the foreign churning of baser machinations.   
Again- and a pig would fly. As I hit the door- which I was quite impressed about reaching- a weight slammed into my back pressing me into the white glossed wooden fire door.   
‘’everything alright, boss?!’’ came a nervous and alert voice from the other side of the door. I didn’t recognise it; somehow that made it better.   
This was it. I had struck the last nerve and I was going to die- I hoped. Someone was going to open the door and shoot me- maybe one would get Negan too?   
‘’fine!’’ came that smokey and alluringly light voice loud next to my ear. His hand was all I could see in my line of sight as it contrasted with the door; marbled tan against the stark white. Then I felt his breath brush my ear as he softly whispered. ‘’just fine…’’ it sent chills shooting down my spine.   
I only then realised that my jacket and cardigan were absent as the warmth of the room was interrupted by bare damp flesh on my biceps and neck. I swallowed hard. I was in quite the mess now.   
He pressed closer and I could feel my body being forced against the door. i tried to squirm to release any of the pressure he was putting on me but I couldn’t- in fact I made the situation worse as my hips were suddenly stilled with a force pressing against my rear. His hips. I swallowed hard as I could only imagine what that meant.  
‘’now-‘’ he paused and I warily watched his hand become white as it strained against the wood. ‘’- do you want to come back to the bed and continue our discussion or-‘’ I felt I hard grind into my hips. ‘’ shall we continue here…?’’   
I swallowed again and cursed how dry my throat was. ‘’may we go back to the- the bed?’’   
‘’now, now. A proper lady knows to say please…’’ his hand began sliding down the door.  
‘’please! Please!’’ I chirped nervously and was treated to a low rumble vibrating through my chest as he chuckled.  
‘’come on, then.’’ He laughed as he slowly backed away. Feeling his warmth leave me almost made my heart sink. Then his hand hooked mine and dragged me behind him to move back towards the bed. I swear I kept my eyes above his waist.   
When we reached the bed the air now steeped in silence as no doubt whomever was outside listened intently. He led me to sit in front of him on the edge of the bed. My eyes strained to look anywhere else but his crotch.   
His chuckle started again and when I looked to his face briefly I saw the crinkling of his eyes as he enjoyed himself. ‘’ok! I get it- let me grab my towel.’’ He moved away still chuckling. I took the opportunity to scoot backwards back to the other side of the bed- I had almost literally made no progress.   
When he came back his towel was slung around his waist- tied which revealed a slit of bare leg… *cough cough – back to the matter of life or death.  
His smile dropped some when he saw that I was back to my previous position. I dropped my gaze somehow feeling like a child being reprimanded. A sigh came from him as he came to lie next to me again.   
‘’so-‘’ I looked at him with curious suspiscion. ‘’you never gave me an answer.’’   
Was he really insane?   
I looked at him my face betraying my inner thoughts. His face was serious. ‘’you’re a virgin, so? I don’t care – ‘’ he smirked as he looked off into nowhere. ‘in fact It might sweetin’ the pot…’ he mused to himself.  
And what? Was I supposed to swoon – the virgin thing was supposed to be a repellent- clearly not to him. I looked around once more trying to really stop and assess my situation. I was sat on a bed with a semi-naked… let’s stick with captain. I was obviously surrounded by people with guns while I had my little River. She was hot now and it was hard to still remember that she was there. So I was armed but I had probably just missed my best chance to use her. My jackets and thigh bag were gone so even if I did get out I had nothing.  
So what were my options- stay and be his wife or attempt to fight out and most definitely die? I knew the lesser of the two evils but could I really live with it?  
I met his eyes again as Negan patiently waited for my brain to stop.   
Then a smile ghosted his lips and I remembered what I had shouted in his face- I’m a virgin!- my face went beet red again.   
‘’I-‘’ I had to clear my throat before I continued ‘’-I would like to make a deal.”  
He quirked an eyebrow at my bravado. Then he got up silently and went to the door opposite the bed which when opened revealed a rack of clothes- all his I assumed until I saw a small set of black dresses in various sizes and designs. He didn’t pay them any mind though and fished out some tracksuit bottoms and a white t-shirt.  
seriously though how did this guy keep his whites so white – did Daz survive the apocalypse??  
I sighed at the inane thoughts rambling about my head. Think. What did I need to say?  
He turned around when he was dressed his lips danced with that playful grin. “ok, mademoiselle. Let me here this deal of yours.”  
Ok so he was being reasonable- at least for the next minute. Maybe.  
“I’ll be your wife- if that’s what really needs to happen?” he nodded solemnly. I let out a puff of exasperation. “ yes, well. I have some conditions and a counter offer.”” I fixed him with my gaze. I was deadly serious about laying down some boundaries with this man. “ I’ll be your wife in name only.” His brows lowered in some mixture of confusion and anger. “ before you flip, may I add, I’ll do what you want by staying here but I will not sell myself for my safety.’’ His eyes widened slightly as I enunciated each word.   
Then he fell back slightly fishing being wounded in his chest. “madam! You wound me'' then he came back to his full height a slightly angered expression on his face. “ none of these women are here against their will and I do not force myself on them” he stalked a little closer.   
I held my hands up in surrender “sorry, I didn’t mean to insinuate that you did.” He paused “ but I imagine you also gave them an offer that was hard to resist.” His smile returned almost praising me. “ so, counter offer ; I’ll earn my keep.” I eyed the skimpy dresses and definitely did not want to end up wearing one.   
Negan followed my gaze with a cocked head.   
I elaborated on my thoughts “ if you think I’m spending the rest of my days dressed like some strange eye candy – you’re mistaken. I can work some let me work.” He jutted out his lower lip as he pondered my conditions. I decided to try almost pleading “ I won’t run, I’ll work hard and you can keep an eye on me till you realise I’m no threat.”   
He smiled whilst he stroked his peppered beard. “ it sounds to me like you get all the good in that deal. What’s in it for me?”   
I inched backwards eyeing him with suspicion. “ what do you want?”   
“Simple “ he purred like a lion “ when you do want me, you have to ask me.”   
I almost guffawed at his confidence and audacity. He really thought himself to be that irresistible. I settled for a sigh and shook my head slightly as I stuck my hand out across the bed.   
He eyed it curiously. I blew some hair out of my face and brushed it back as I said I may as well offer a handshake on my wedding day.. '’ my hair tie fell and unleashed my mas of curls.  
Negan came over to lean down, one hand on the bed, to take my hand. I rose onto my knees to look him in the eye. Suddenly a forceful tug pulled me forward nearly hitting his face. Relief flooded me when I didn’t collide with his head. And then dread when I focused on his rugged face which was lit like an angel whilst he smiled like a devil.   
He kissed me.   
It was hot and strange. His slightly rough lips clashed with mine and Egan to gently try and draw something out in me. That primitive feeling which purred in my core for a fire that would consume us. It was slow and though demanding it made me close my eyes and want to surrender. Then he pulled back making my eyes snap open.  
“i do” he smirked.  
Now it wasn’t my first kiss- but it was my first like that.   
So you have to forgive my dreamy stare I gave him which only caused his grin to bloom into its full predatory state.  
When I did regain some form of composure I gave myself a little shake before agreeing “ I do.”  
With that settled negan turned around to his cabinet and small fridge from which he pulled a couple cans of pop. I got up from the bed and moved toward the door. Finally I could get out of this room and settle down a bit.   
“where ya goin mademoiselle?” negan called from over his shoulder.   
I felt a bit more relaxed than I had before so I breathed my words with tiredness and relief. “ I thought I’d get out of your hair- I’m sure Davey or ... Someone can show me where to go.” A casual whistle tried to pucker my lips as I felt like I was about to swagger out of prison having survived.  
“ no, darlin.” I stopped m eyes widening as I turned my head to him in confusion. He glanced at me before turning back to open the pop and pour it into some glasses. “ you can’t leave this room” he casually said as he waltzed over to hand me my glass of lemonade. I took the glass and mumbled a “thank you” – best behaviour- while just staring at him with some fear. “ Don’t worry- I’m not about to break our deal; I won’t touch you. Just...” he searched for the words.” I have a reputation and if you just stroll out of here then rumours might fly, darlin- and they can topple empires” he smiled apologetically but his eyes danced with humour.  
I looked him up and down before taking a sip of the lemonade; it soothed my burning throat. It’s sweet taste gave me a little courage to act normal again.   
“ Fine” I tutted “ but I get the left side of the bed”  
Negan chuckled low “ deal"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?


End file.
